Struggle

Fear and anguish
Deep inside
I open my eyes
All I can do is cryfood-eggs
I see you there
So hurt
So helpless
So afraid
So in pain
When will this end
Go away
Will there ever be a day?
Sometimes I am so afraid
I won’t be able to keep you safe
From all of the harm
In this world
I try my hardest
But it isn’t always enough
Why does this have to be so damn rough?
These monsters
These poisons
Are silently sneaking everywhere
A constant worry
A constant fear
About everything here

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I didn’t get a chance to post a poem for last night, I will do 2 tonight to make up for that. This one I came up with after my son had another allergic reaction to food last night. He is fine, it wasn’t a huge deal this time around, but it has been a bigger issue before and it’s a very scary ordeal. It’s also really rough to find ways around so many different types of allergies. We currently have to avoid dairy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts and bananas. Sometimes it’s a bit overwhelming.

Little Doll

Little doll
Upon my shelf
Do you know me?
Do you know yourself?
You’ve seen my world
From your eyes
You’ve seen the tears
That I’ve cried
You’ve heard me laugh
My horrible laugh
Yet you still
Just sit
Upon my shelf
Not really knowing
Anything else
Are you happy
Perched up there
Where you only know
My life
From your eyes
Little Doll

Video Game Bullying

There is something I want to talk about in the world of gaming. I covered this more-so in the anime world but it happens in gaming as well, bullying. I know this is going to sound like whining to hardcore gamers but what I have to say I feel is important for those who enjoy gaming but cannot waste their entire time leveling all of their jobs and classes to max level and for those who really want to play RPGs for the story.

There are a few examples I have that I night-young-woods-photoshop.jpgwant to tell you about before I get started.

One night some of my friends and I decided to run a dungeon needed to proceed in the story quests in Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn. Now, most dungeons up to this point were 4 people so it was very easy for some of us to get together and knock those ones out, however, this particular dungeon called for 8 people and due to real life situations like jobs and school as well as time zones, we could not get a total of 8 of us online at one time so to progress in the story we were required to run the dungeon with a few people we didn’t know.

When you run a dungeon and at least one person has never run that dungeon before, it alerts the entire party that there are people in the group that have not run the dungeon, which means that they have cutscenes to watch to be able to follow the story. If I remember correctly, we had also informed some of the players of that and stated politely that we would like to watch them. We were told to skip the cutscenes and watch them later as they rushed on without us. They went so far ahead of us that when we finally finished the cutscenes they were already battling the dungeon bosses and we were no longer able to enter the area in which the fight was happening. We were still credited with completion of the dungeon, but it seemed extremely hurtful and rude that these people couldn’t take a few minutes to wait for us to complete the cutscenes. When the last fight was over, we were greeted with messages like, “Eww, 20 min run,” indicating that they were disgusted with the fact that it took us a whole 20 minutes to complete the dungeon when we were given, I can’t remember if it’s 60, 80, or 90 minutes to complete it. Also, this happened not once, but twice in the same dungeon and we also informed the players the second time around that we would like to watch the cutscenes. However, the second time around, we only had 2 people that were strangers to us and when they rushed into the boss fight, they were not strong enough to complete it so we were forced to exit the dungeon and some of our group were penalized with not being able to re-enter the dungeon to try again for 30 minutes or so. This person decided to defend themselves by saying if we had asked to watch the cutscenes, they wouldn’t have done that. The problem is, we had asked.

The next instance was when I decided to try doing trials, or basically just boss fights, without going through an entire dungeon, while my friends couldn’t be online. I died several times and was mocked because my health was lower than other players. I do not spend my time earning digital in game money so I can have the best of the best armor. I play for the fun of it and my armor has never caused me any issues before, even in higher level dungeons. The next issue in this trial was that one player told me to pull the monster off of him by luring it to myself. I tried to do this several times, but then he would attack it again, causing it to go after him before he could be healed. He then found it appropriate to start screaming at me in the chat about it and shortly after, I was just kicked from the party.

The problem is, some people don’t know all of the right combinations, or how others prefer to play. It doesn’t take very long to speak in the chat and work everything out before heading right into battle.

I have had very good experiences as well so not all players are like this. However, to the ones that are, do you realize that you are bullying those of us who can’t spend all of our time in game? Those of us who don’t have a huge memory and cannot memorize all of the moves for every class? Those of us who may have a child sitting in our lap? A gamer can be anyone. I’ve seen very young gamers, I’ve seen very old gamers, I’ve seen single gamers, dating gamers, married gamers. I’m married and have a 3 year old at home and I enjoy playing games. But when I am treated like that it makes me so sad to think that someone out there has to bully me because they don’t know how to take a moment to communicate.

All I am asking is that the next time you game with random players, take the time, say hello, ask how they are, and discuss your battle plan. The person you are playing with may be coming back from a hiatus and may have forgotten some of the controls or moves, they may not know them all, they may have a baby running around or may need to step away for a moment to take care of that child. Just because they have a life doesn’t mean they shouldn’t get to sit down and enjoy themselves as well. So please be kind when gaming. It may seem competitive, but it will not affect your life to have your character die and need to be resurrected, only your pride.

Thanks for reading and happy gaming!

A Hero

A hero
Never gets true
Praise
Save the worldUntitled4.png
Save the day
It doesn’t matter
Anyway
They will be used
For things below
Their expertise
But they will help
Because of their
Pure heart
Even though
She fought her battles
Withstood her wounds
She will still travel near
And far
Just to make sure
Your mail is
Delivered on time
Because she’s helping another
Who is too weak
But she will always smile
She will always lend
A helping hand
To those who are willing
To be her friend

 

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Final Fantasy XIV in a nutshell xD

Slow Down

Slow down
Don’t move so fast
It’s the only way
To make enjoyment stairs-people-long-exposure-underground.jpg
Last

Slow down
Keep a pace
Life is not
Some sort of
Race

Slow down
You’ll leave us
In the dust
Enjoy life
There’s no rush

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Somewhat inspired by another one of my favorite songs ^_^

Bullet

Their words had pierced her
Like a bullet
She always felt so down
She always felt
She couldn’t do it
She ignored them
She sat in silence
But deep inside
She hid her cries
She began to fall so fast
No matter how hard she tried
She was often told
She wasn’t good enough
She was stupid
Her dreams were dumb
She never understood
Why it was okay
For them to put her down
For them to have their own dreams
But not for her to have her own
Every single day
A new bullet took
The old one’s place
But finally
Now she’s freepexels-photo2.jpg
To live her dreams
Her soul is healing
Her dreams are now
Sprouting
Flowing
She will be okay
No more bullets
Will pierce her again

Curve

Follow the curve in the road
Even if you know not
Where it goes
Follow your heartpexels-photo (2)
Follow your dreams
You are the only one
Who knows what they mean
Chase your hopes
Chase your desires
Chase it all
Light the fire
Never give up
Never give in
Never let
The haters win
Keep following the road
Keep following the curves